The Seven Inches Get Disorientated

by The Seven Inches

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about

The long overdue debut album!

credits

released August 10, 2013

On this record the Seven Inches were:

Emil Andrews (trumpet)
Emily Clavering-Lee (vocals, keyboards)
Ian Cockburn (vocals)
Shaun Day (guitar)
Tim Ireland (bass)
Rachael Moore (drums)

All songs written by the Seven Inches

Recorded at the Soundmill in Leeds with Edward Heaton except tracks 3,5 and 6 with Simon McGrath

Special thanks to other band members past and present: Nigel Townshend, Lucy Canter, Emily Graves, Bryn Hans and Owen Radford-Lloyd, and especially founder member Alice Hubley.

Thanks to Sturdy, Ed, Si and all our friends, families and well-wishers.

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about

The Seven Inches Leeds, UK

The Seven Inches have long been heroes amongst Leeds’ indiepop and DIY scenes, winning hearts everywhere with their bizarre onstage props, trumpets, synths and cardboard keytars. If this makes them sound like some self-conscious novelty act, rest assured that nothing could be further from the truth – The Seven Inches play it from the heart every time. ... more

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Track Name: ...And They're Off!
There's a hush around the stadium now as the runners are on their marks for the start of the 440 yards. The starter raises his pistol... and they're off! And Day has made a fine start in lane number 3. He's closing up on Moore in the lane outside him, the bearded Yorkshireman, who's now getting into his running, and fighting back. Also running well is Clavering, the tall medical student, and it's Clavering who possibly has the edge over the rest of the field as they run full pelt down the back straight. The athletes straining for an advantage now with every sinew of their being. And... and Andrews has pulled out! Andrews in lane #6 has pulled out, that's bad luck. And the runners are now coming round the bend. And it's Cockburn now, Cockburn who has taken the lead. And Cockburn running strongly as they enter the home straight. It's Cockburn, from Day, and Clavering... and Ireland on the inside! A dramatic late run from Ireland. Ireland coming through with an indubitable burst of speed! And at the tape.... it's Ireland who wins it! Oh! What a marvellous display of athleticism from the young man from Hull.
Track Name: Cashback
Despite galumphing around like you've gone beserk
You still end up about five minutes late for work
With half the things on your itinerary unfulfilled
You run out the house and you trip over all the bills

Successful people look down and sneer at you
Just coz they have a brilliant career or two
Mostly you have nowt but contempt for them
They might be rich but that don't make them gentlemen

Twenty telegrams from your Aunt Dahlia
Insinuating you are a failure
And your parents, they pinned all their hopes on you
As if you failing would make them failures too

You try and try till at last! You still don't succeed
You work your hands, and your fingers until they bleed
You gave years of your life to the company
Who left you screaming “what do you want from me?”

But there's no reason to beat yourself up
No there's no reason at all
But there's no reason to beat yourself up
No there's no reason at all

You keep dreaming that you're losing the race so bad
The sandman just kicks sand in your face- the cad!
Your skills are there but in an obsolete format
Your greatest use seems to be as a doormat

And now you're thinking about recrimination
And you should fight all your life against discrimination
But when it comes to self-flagellation now
Why don't you give your self-hate a vacation now?

And there's no reason to beat yourself up
No there's no reason at all
And there's no reason to beat yourself up
No there's no reason at all

It just ain't worth it, honey
You don't deserve it, honey
It just ain't worth it, honey
Nobody's perfect, honey
Bababababababababa
Bababababababababa
Bababababababababa
Track Name: (I Wanna Be) The Second Coolest Person In Town (After You)
I wanna be the second coolest person in town after you
I wanna be the second coolest person in town after you

Well, you're definitely the smartest
the supreme-est, avant-garde-est
And the make-me-laugh-the-hardest
Top-notch modern artist

you're my favourite radio station
for new musical inspiration
and your own sundry creations
are such cause for celebration

I wanna be the second coolest person in town after you
I wanna be the second coolest person in town after you

Well your smorgasbords are scrumptious
But you're never too self-conscious
Confident but modest
You're great but not a Goddess

And your clothes make it so clear
You're the one with the ideas
and your words couldn't be freer
They're sharper than a spear

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be....
Track Name: The Little Things
What’s the point in writing a book 
That'll never be as good as the greats? 
What’s the point in a sculpture then 
That’ll never end up in the Tate? 
What’s the point in a single 
That doesn’t smash the charts? 
What’s the point in a ballad 
That doesn’t break anyone’s heart? 
What’s the point in hanging around 
Without taking part? 
What’s the point in living a life 
That isn’t higher art?
Oh I could tell you what the point is 
But I wouldn’t know where to start

It’s the little things, yeah 
The little things we share 
The little things make it all worthwhile 
All the different strokes and styles 
That make variety 
That maybe you can’t see 
If you expect everything to be 
Competing for immortality 
It’s the little things, y’know 
Things that make you glow 
Things like a common memory shared 
Things you’d see if you really cared 
To look for 
Those little things
 
What’s the point in a movement 
That doesn’t win elections? 
What’s the point in a protest song 
That doesn’t change perceptions?
What’s the point in a movie 
That’s apolitical? 
What’s the point in an illustration 
That’s really literal? 
What’s the point in going out with someone 
If you don’t get the perfect kiss? 
Whats the point in going out at all 
If you don't get completely pissed?
Well I’ll tell you what the point is 
And why I’m singing this:

It’s the little things, I mean 
The little inbetweens 
Unexpected twists, exquisite wrists 
The kinds of things you’d probably miss 
If you expect your life to be 
A constant jamboree 
Of revolution, revelation, 
Romanticism and creation 
The little things, y’know 
Things that make you glow 
A favourite taste, a favourite smell 
A favourite sound, well, who can tell 
Where you’ll find 
The little things

Well I could tell you why we’re here 
If you give me half a year

It's the little things, I said 
The little greens and reds 
Eyelashes and fingertips 
Water, grapes and chilli dips 
Saxophone and harps 
Quavers, flats and sharps 
Jumps and screams and surreal dreams 
Neon lights and mountain streams 
The little things, y’know 
Things that make you glow 
So don’t feel down if regret still rings 
When all you’ve ever done is little things 
For the world is changed 
By little things 
The world is changed 
By little things 
Track Name: Our Gang Of Friends
Our gang of friends has been meeting for years
Unravelling over several beers
Our gang of friends, yeah we hope to outlast
Our memories of being lonely outcasts
 
Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends
Gets together every weekend
Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends
Telling jokes only we understand
 
Our gang of friends is like some kinda club
‘Cause we’ve the power to freeze out and snub
Our gang of friends is hilariously funny
That’s what make the alcohol worth the money
 
Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends
Gets together every weekend
Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends
Telling jokes only we understand
 
Our gang of friends we sure have lots of fun
But if we never got to talk one to one
Our gang of friends would be pretty much strangers
As if to know what’s inside would be dangerous
 
Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends
Well it shouldn’t be like some sort of ritual
Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends
But I like them best as individuals
 
To talk to the same old friends is feeble
Your prejudices get reinforced
You only learn of life through talking to people
Pooling experience ‘cause life is short
 
I have a fear of cliquey cliques
So it's time from the nest I flew
For there's so many other people to meet,
Like you! You! Maybe you?
Do I think I'm suddenly better than them?
Of course not! I just see things different
I’ll always be friends with them, I know I will
But i get certain longings that they can’t always fill-
For example there’s someone over there I wish I dated…
I wonder, can their clique be infiltrated?
But all I get are snatches of chatter
I want friendships that really matter

Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends
Gets together every weekend
Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends
Telling jokes only we understand
Track Name: A Letter
Hello Mary S
Is this the right address?
Thought I'd tell you of some things
That have occupied me this Spring
Life is fast and bright
Stay up late most nights
I got sick of being lazy
Now i want to move like crazy

I’m caught up in a social life that’s hard to sustain
While determined to read a lot and work on my brain
And do some hard work
On my artwork
I’m gonna have a website publicising my stuff
Though i’m scared of taking on more than i can carry off
If i don’t have a go
I will never know
 
That last email that you sent
Was so typically excellent
I love hearing your adventures
All the details that you mention
The same basic story
Cut down short might bore me
But elongated with digressions
Makes a far greater impression

And then you’ll tell me something that i feel to a “T”
And the fact we’re kindred spirits makes me feel so happy
I understand you
Least I think so
If it weren’t for letters i would feel so alone
There are things hard to communicate just over the phone
And you can re-read them
When you need them 

I’m on the full cafetiere
I’ve been warned not to go there
But the coffee madness
Doesn’t seem too bad yet
I love feeling i can be
Who i want, the energy
Though exhaustion’s never far
Makes me see things as they are
They really are
Really hard
 
Heres a letter then
To a dear friend
Just like that song by Kristen Hersh
It’s written in musical verse
Hope you keep good health
Take good care of yourself.
Love,
Ian
Track Name: The Seven Inches Get DIsorientated
TURN AROUND open your eyes
TURN AROUND open your eyes
 TURN AROUND open your eyes
 TURN AROUND open your eyes
 
GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated
SO SO SO SO SO SO SO you’ll be creative
GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated
GO GO GO GO GO GO GO don’t be so jaded
 
Lose your preconceptions
And pre-packaged views
Try a new direction
In someone else's shoes
 
SEE THE WORLD be introduced to
WAYS OF LIFE you’re not used to
SEE FILMS maybe travel
Let your prejudice unravel
 
GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated
SO SO SO SO SO SO SO you’ll be creative
GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated
GO GO GO GO GO GO GO don’t be so jaded
 
Stir your blood until its fizzy
Change your mind until it’s dizzy
Read of things you never heard of
Language you don’t speak a word of
Don’t need drugs just library books
Recipes you’ve never cooked
Fill your thoughts and fall unconscious
The sleep of reason produces monsters1
 
GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated
SO SO SO SO SO SO SO you’ll be creative
GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated
GO GO GO GO GO GO GO don’t be so jaded
 
Track Name: Cravats and Spats and Feather Boas
“Our first duty is striking a pose
What the second is nobody knows”1
Live life like you’re living in shows
With marvellous clothes
 
But all of this vanity fair
And pretension can never compare
With kindness and courage and care
Precious and rare
 
Oh! Oh! Admonished, I must now admit
My questing for Wildean wit
Has led me to look like a twit
Just a bit
 
Yes Yes I readily, freely confess
I try much too hard to impress
With quasi-bohemian excess
And fancy dress
 
I sigh at each biography
Of people much better than me
Which one am i trying to be?
unsuccessfully
 
I pointlessly act a great ponce
As if to provoke a response
Can this be what every girl wants?
Vive la France!
 
No! No! To swallow my pride and be frank
I have a damn sight too much swank
My life’s an elaborate wank
with no-one to thank
 
But me! Maybe if I could sometimes be bothered
To care a bit more about others
I might just get a few lovers
And I might discover
 
Cravats and spats and feather boas
Are well-worn now, old hat, a bore!
Stop! Stop! Being a fop
Stop! Stop! Being a fop
 
You’re not Rimbaud, you’re not Baudelaire
You’re not  Lord Byron with stupider hair
Stop! Stop! Being a fop
Stop! Stop! Being a fop
Track Name: The Rowing Song
Let's row
Let's row
Let's row
Row, row, move the fucking oars now

Go!
Let's row
Let's row
Row, row, move the fucking oars now

Let's row
Let's row
Let's row
Row, row, move the fucking oars now

Go (there's no need to be so frantic)
Let's row (It's only a boating lake)
Let's row (I thought it would be romantic)
Row, (row ashore now, what a lousy date)
Track Name: Hanna-Barbera
I love Hanna-Barbera 
I love Hanna-Barbera 
I wanna go to Scarborough 
Watch some Hanna-Barbera
'South Park' is Macabre-er 
But I love Hanna Barbera 
I will always harbour a
Love for Hanna-Barbera 

(I'll get you Penelop Pitstop, [evil laugh])

Tom and Jerry just weren’t funny 
Not like Daffy or Bugs Bunny 
The characters weren’t sympathetic 
And the violence was pathetic
Joe Barbara, Bill Hanna 
Started out in this grand manner 
Till the big old business died 
That’s when they really hit their stride
They brought cartoons to TV! 
The TV bosses just said “Gee!
“Cartoons are gonna be too steep” 
But they found ways to make them cheap
Galloping legs keep a-blurring 
The same images kept recurring 
The painted backdrops stayed dead still 
Call it tacky if you will
But they had gumption, they had guile 
Sight-gags and bags of style 
Their characters so cute and daft 
I don’t care about the craft 
Or if the crew was understaffed

Purists say their corporation 
Was the death of animation 
But that’s not fair, 
Yogi Bear,
Penelope Pitstop, Top Cat yeah

People say when Joe and Bill 
Left MGM they went downhill 
But that’s not true, 
Scooby doo,
Captain Caveman, Hong Kong Phooey

Magilla Gorilla
Dastardly and Muttley
The Harlem Globetrotters
Quick-Draw McGraw
Huckleberry Hound
The Jetsons
Wacky Races

Their imaginations were so tricksy 
Like Mr Jinx and Pixie and Dixie 
In every trick they turned up aces 
Secret squirrel, wacky races 
They had chic they had elan 
Bizarre contraptions, evil plans 
They had piles of quick one-liners 
Dinosaurs and stone age diners 
They had wit, sophistication 
Playing with their limitations 
Je ne sais quoi, esprit de corps 
Sylvester Sneekley, Hooded Claw 
Maybe it was all a front
for Undercover Elephant 
All the creatures great and small 
Hokey Wolf, Benny-the-Ball
Boo-Boo, Snagglepuss and all

People say their values pander 
To reactionary propaganda 
That’s the trouble 
With Barney Rubble 
And fascist pigs like Officer Dibble 

People say it’s 
Bubblegum 
Some people really are no fun 
They moan and bitch 
And call it kitsch 
Shaggy won’t outrun that witch

Secret Squirrel
Josie and the Pussycats
the Arkansas Chugabug
Touché Turtle
Augie Doggy and Doggy Daddy
Ruff and Reddy
Top Cat
 
People call them philistines 
Poisoning our children’s minds 
But it’s not so 
Bill and Joe 
Were smarter than the average duo 

Were they only out to fleece us? 
Will Jinksie ever catch those meeces? 
I would pay Anyday 
To have a gay old time 
Track Name: To Boldly Go
Obstacles
Fill your path
Tentacles
fill your bath
it's so hard
not to tear your hair
and scream

You've just got to stop
Your heart pounding
you've just got to move
them darn mountains
it's so hard
to excel
or do well
but there's a hope so what the hell!

You can chain me in irons
and throw me to the lions
I know my nerves'll settle
they can't eat me wrapped in metal

You've just got to duck
the torpedoes
never give a fuck
about mosquitoes
don't be scared
be prepared
be aware
faint heart never won fair share

My turn! My turn! I'm not frightened
I'm gonna deal with the world on my terms
My turn! My turn! I'm not frightened
Faced with a fight I will not whiten
My turn! My turn! I'm not frightened
I'll take on all the mods in Brighton
My turn! My turn! I'm not frightened
My only drug will be excitement
Track Name: Openness and Honesty
Here's my favourite comic
Ariel Schrag’s Potential
Fearless real and honest
Honesty’s essential 
Don't lie to your friends
Don't try stratagems
Don't put on an act
Just stick to the fact
It's useless to hide
your fragile side
And don't let your chances slide

So tell me what I ought to say
In your stupid play
‘Cause it feels like a play we’re in
Do I get to see the script?
Do I have to strip?
Am I the villain or the heroine?
And tell me how you picked the cast
Were auditions passed?
Are there others who can act better?
And will you give me your address
If I don’t impress
Because I know I’m good at writing letters
 
They say that being open
Can leave your heart exposed
But how is your heart coping
All shut up and  enclosed
They say to be calm
They say “show restraint
If you are upset
Pretend that you ain’t
Just don’t lose your calm
Just don’t lose your cool”
Well I follow other rules
 
So tell me how to play this game
Does it have a name
Other than fooling about?
It feels like advanced charades
Only twice as hard
And I really can’t figure it out
And tell me when I get confused
Do I win or lose
When my feelings go unexpressed?
And will you let me see your cards?
Are they clubs or hearts?
Or are they too close to your chest?
 
I want to rise and face the world with
Openness and honesty
I want to go and find a girl with
Openness and honesty
I want to tell you how I feel with
Openness and honesty
I want to try and keep it real with
Openness and Honesty