The Seven Inches Get Disorientated

by The Seven Inches

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1.
There's a hush around the stadium now as the runners are on their marks for the start of the 440 yards. The starter raises his pistol... and they're off! And Day has made a fine start in lane number 3. He's closing up on Moore in the lane outside him, the bearded Yorkshireman, who's now getting into his running, and fighting back. Also running well is Clavering, the tall medical student, and it's Clavering who possibly has the edge over the rest of the field as they run full pelt down the back straight. The athletes straining for an advantage now with every sinew of their being. And... and Andrews has pulled out! Andrews in lane #6 has pulled out, that's bad luck. And the runners are now coming round the bend. And it's Cockburn now, Cockburn who has taken the lead. And Cockburn running strongly as they enter the home straight. It's Cockburn, from Day, and Clavering... and Ireland on the inside! A dramatic late run from Ireland. Ireland coming through with an indubitable burst of speed! And at the tape.... it's Ireland who wins it! Oh! What a marvellous display of athleticism from the young man from Hull.
2.
Cashback 02:56
Despite galumphing around like you've gone beserk You still end up about five minutes late for work With half the things on your itinerary unfulfilled You run out the house and you trip over all the bills Successful people look down and sneer at you Just coz they have a brilliant career or two Mostly you have nowt but contempt for them They might be rich but that don't make them gentlemen Twenty telegrams from your Aunt Dahlia Insinuating you are a failure And your parents, they pinned all their hopes on you As if you failing would make them failures too You try and try till at last! You still don't succeed You work your hands, and your fingers until they bleed You gave years of your life to the company Who left you screaming “what do you want from me?” But there's no reason to beat yourself up No there's no reason at all But there's no reason to beat yourself up No there's no reason at all You keep dreaming that you're losing the race so bad The sandman just kicks sand in your face- the cad! Your skills are there but in an obsolete format Your greatest use seems to be as a doormat And now you're thinking about recrimination And you should fight all your life against discrimination But when it comes to self-flagellation now Why don't you give your self-hate a vacation now? And there's no reason to beat yourself up No there's no reason at all And there's no reason to beat yourself up No there's no reason at all It just ain't worth it, honey You don't deserve it, honey It just ain't worth it, honey Nobody's perfect, honey Bababababababababa Bababababababababa Bababababababababa
3.
I wanna be the second coolest person in town after you I wanna be the second coolest person in town after you Well, you're definitely the smartest the supreme-est, avant-garde-est And the make-me-laugh-the-hardest Top-notch modern artist you're my favourite radio station for new musical inspiration and your own sundry creations are such cause for celebration I wanna be the second coolest person in town after you I wanna be the second coolest person in town after you Well your smorgasbords are scrumptious But you're never too self-conscious Confident but modest You're great but not a Goddess And your clothes make it so clear You're the one with the ideas and your words couldn't be freer They're sharper than a spear I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be....
4.
What’s the point in writing a book  That'll never be as good as the greats?  What’s the point in a sculpture then  That’ll never end up in the Tate?  What’s the point in a single  That doesn’t smash the charts?  What’s the point in a ballad  That doesn’t break anyone’s heart?  What’s the point in hanging around  Without taking part?  What’s the point in living a life  That isn’t higher art? Oh I could tell you what the point is  But I wouldn’t know where to start It’s the little things, yeah  The little things we share  The little things make it all worthwhile  All the different strokes and styles  That make variety  That maybe you can’t see  If you expect everything to be  Competing for immortality  It’s the little things, y’know  Things that make you glow  Things like a common memory shared  Things you’d see if you really cared  To look for  Those little things   What’s the point in a movement  That doesn’t win elections?  What’s the point in a protest song  That doesn’t change perceptions? What’s the point in a movie  That’s apolitical?  What’s the point in an illustration  That’s really literal?  What’s the point in going out with someone  If you don’t get the perfect kiss?  Whats the point in going out at all  If you don't get completely pissed? Well I’ll tell you what the point is  And why I’m singing this: It’s the little things, I mean  The little inbetweens  Unexpected twists, exquisite wrists  The kinds of things you’d probably miss  If you expect your life to be  A constant jamboree  Of revolution, revelation,  Romanticism and creation  The little things, y’know  Things that make you glow  A favourite taste, a favourite smell  A favourite sound, well, who can tell  Where you’ll find  The little things Well I could tell you why we’re here  If you give me half a year It's the little things, I said  The little greens and reds  Eyelashes and fingertips  Water, grapes and chilli dips  Saxophone and harps  Quavers, flats and sharps  Jumps and screams and surreal dreams  Neon lights and mountain streams  The little things, y’know  Things that make you glow  So don’t feel down if regret still rings  When all you’ve ever done is little things  For the world is changed  By little things  The world is changed  By little things 
5.
Our gang of friends has been meeting for years Unravelling over several beers Our gang of friends, yeah we hope to outlast Our memories of being lonely outcasts   Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends Gets together every weekend Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends Telling jokes only we understand   Our gang of friends is like some kinda club ‘Cause we’ve the power to freeze out and snub Our gang of friends is hilariously funny That’s what make the alcohol worth the money   Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends Gets together every weekend Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends Telling jokes only we understand   Our gang of friends we sure have lots of fun But if we never got to talk one to one Our gang of friends would be pretty much strangers As if to know what’s inside would be dangerous   Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends Well it shouldn’t be like some sort of ritual Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends But I like them best as individuals   To talk to the same old friends is feeble Your prejudices get reinforced You only learn of life through talking to people Pooling experience ‘cause life is short   I have a fear of cliquey cliques So it's time from the nest I flew For there's so many other people to meet, Like you! You! Maybe you? Do I think I'm suddenly better than them? Of course not! I just see things different I’ll always be friends with them, I know I will But i get certain longings that they can’t always fill- For example there’s someone over there I wish I dated… I wonder, can their clique be infiltrated? But all I get are snatches of chatter I want friendships that really matter Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends Gets together every weekend Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends Telling jokes only we understand
6.
A Letter 03:29
Hello Mary S Is this the right address? Thought I'd tell you of some things That have occupied me this Spring Life is fast and bright Stay up late most nights I got sick of being lazy Now i want to move like crazy I’m caught up in a social life that’s hard to sustain While determined to read a lot and work on my brain And do some hard work On my artwork I’m gonna have a website publicising my stuff Though i’m scared of taking on more than i can carry off If i don’t have a go I will never know   That last email that you sent Was so typically excellent I love hearing your adventures All the details that you mention The same basic story Cut down short might bore me But elongated with digressions Makes a far greater impression And then you’ll tell me something that i feel to a “T” And the fact we’re kindred spirits makes me feel so happy I understand you Least I think so If it weren’t for letters i would feel so alone There are things hard to communicate just over the phone And you can re-read them When you need them  I’m on the full cafetiere I’ve been warned not to go there But the coffee madness Doesn’t seem too bad yet I love feeling i can be Who i want, the energy Though exhaustion’s never far Makes me see things as they are They really are Really hard   Heres a letter then To a dear friend Just like that song by Kristen Hersh It’s written in musical verse Hope you keep good health Take good care of yourself. Love, Ian
7.
TURN AROUND open your eyes TURN AROUND open your eyes  TURN AROUND open your eyes  TURN AROUND open your eyes   GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated SO SO SO SO SO SO SO you’ll be creative GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated GO GO GO GO GO GO GO don’t be so jaded   Lose your preconceptions And pre-packaged views Try a new direction In someone else's shoes   SEE THE WORLD be introduced to WAYS OF LIFE you’re not used to SEE FILMS maybe travel Let your prejudice unravel   GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated SO SO SO SO SO SO SO you’ll be creative GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated GO GO GO GO GO GO GO don’t be so jaded   Stir your blood until its fizzy Change your mind until it’s dizzy Read of things you never heard of Language you don’t speak a word of Don’t need drugs just library books Recipes you’ve never cooked Fill your thoughts and fall unconscious The sleep of reason produces monsters1   GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated SO SO SO SO SO SO SO you’ll be creative GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated GO GO GO GO GO GO GO don’t be so jaded  
8.
“Our first duty is striking a pose What the second is nobody knows”1 Live life like you’re living in shows With marvellous clothes   But all of this vanity fair And pretension can never compare With kindness and courage and care Precious and rare   Oh! Oh! Admonished, I must now admit My questing for Wildean wit Has led me to look like a twit Just a bit   Yes Yes I readily, freely confess I try much too hard to impress With quasi-bohemian excess And fancy dress   I sigh at each biography Of people much better than me Which one am i trying to be? unsuccessfully   I pointlessly act a great ponce As if to provoke a response Can this be what every girl wants? Vive la France!   No! No! To swallow my pride and be frank I have a damn sight too much swank My life’s an elaborate wank with no-one to thank   But me! Maybe if I could sometimes be bothered To care a bit more about others I might just get a few lovers And I might discover   Cravats and spats and feather boas Are well-worn now, old hat, a bore! Stop! Stop! Being a fop Stop! Stop! Being a fop   You’re not Rimbaud, you’re not Baudelaire You’re not  Lord Byron with stupider hair Stop! Stop! Being a fop Stop! Stop! Being a fop
9.
Let's row Let's row Let's row Row, row, move the fucking oars now Go! Let's row Let's row Row, row, move the fucking oars now Let's row Let's row Let's row Row, row, move the fucking oars now Go (there's no need to be so frantic) Let's row (It's only a boating lake) Let's row (I thought it would be romantic) Row, (row ashore now, what a lousy date)
10.
I love Hanna-Barbera  I love Hanna-Barbera  I wanna go to Scarborough  Watch some Hanna-Barbera 'South Park' is Macabre-er  But I love Hanna Barbera  I will always harbour a Love for Hanna-Barbera  (I'll get you Penelop Pitstop, [evil laugh]) Tom and Jerry just weren’t funny  Not like Daffy or Bugs Bunny  The characters weren’t sympathetic  And the violence was pathetic Joe Barbara, Bill Hanna  Started out in this grand manner  Till the big old business died  That’s when they really hit their stride They brought cartoons to TV!  The TV bosses just said “Gee! “Cartoons are gonna be too steep”  But they found ways to make them cheap Galloping legs keep a-blurring  The same images kept recurring  The painted backdrops stayed dead still  Call it tacky if you will But they had gumption, they had guile  Sight-gags and bags of style  Their characters so cute and daft  I don’t care about the craft  Or if the crew was understaffed Purists say their corporation  Was the death of animation  But that’s not fair,  Yogi Bear, Penelope Pitstop, Top Cat yeah People say when Joe and Bill  Left MGM they went downhill  But that’s not true,  Scooby doo, Captain Caveman, Hong Kong Phooey Magilla Gorilla Dastardly and Muttley The Harlem Globetrotters Quick-Draw McGraw Huckleberry Hound The Jetsons Wacky Races Their imaginations were so tricksy  Like Mr Jinx and Pixie and Dixie  In every trick they turned up aces  Secret squirrel, wacky races  They had chic they had elan  Bizarre contraptions, evil plans  They had piles of quick one-liners  Dinosaurs and stone age diners  They had wit, sophistication  Playing with their limitations  Je ne sais quoi, esprit de corps  Sylvester Sneekley, Hooded Claw  Maybe it was all a front for Undercover Elephant  All the creatures great and small  Hokey Wolf, Benny-the-Ball Boo-Boo, Snagglepuss and all People say their values pander  To reactionary propaganda  That’s the trouble  With Barney Rubble  And fascist pigs like Officer Dibble  People say it’s  Bubblegum  Some people really are no fun  They moan and bitch  And call it kitsch  Shaggy won’t outrun that witch Secret Squirrel Josie and the Pussycats the Arkansas Chugabug Touché Turtle Augie Doggy and Doggy Daddy Ruff and Reddy Top Cat   People call them philistines  Poisoning our children’s minds  But it’s not so  Bill and Joe  Were smarter than the average duo  Were they only out to fleece us?  Will Jinksie ever catch those meeces?  I would pay Anyday  To have a gay old time 
11.
To Boldly Go 02:56
Obstacles Fill your path Tentacles fill your bath it's so hard not to tear your hair and scream You've just got to stop Your heart pounding you've just got to move them darn mountains it's so hard to excel or do well but there's a hope so what the hell! You can chain me in irons and throw me to the lions I know my nerves'll settle they can't eat me wrapped in metal You've just got to duck the torpedoes never give a fuck about mosquitoes don't be scared be prepared be aware faint heart never won fair share My turn! My turn! I'm not frightened I'm gonna deal with the world on my terms My turn! My turn! I'm not frightened Faced with a fight I will not whiten My turn! My turn! I'm not frightened I'll take on all the mods in Brighton My turn! My turn! I'm not frightened My only drug will be excitement
12.
Here's my favourite comic Ariel Schrag’s Potential Fearless real and honest Honesty’s essential  Don't lie to your friends Don't try stratagems Don't put on an act Just stick to the fact It's useless to hide your fragile side And don't let your chances slide So tell me what I ought to say In your stupid play ‘Cause it feels like a play we’re in Do I get to see the script? Do I have to strip? Am I the villain or the heroine? And tell me how you picked the cast Were auditions passed? Are there others who can act better? And will you give me your address If I don’t impress Because I know I’m good at writing letters   They say that being open Can leave your heart exposed But how is your heart coping All shut up and  enclosed They say to be calm They say “show restraint If you are upset Pretend that you ain’t Just don’t lose your calm Just don’t lose your cool” Well I follow other rules   So tell me how to play this game Does it have a name Other than fooling about? It feels like advanced charades Only twice as hard And I really can’t figure it out And tell me when I get confused Do I win or lose When my feelings go unexpressed? And will you let me see your cards? Are they clubs or hearts? Or are they too close to your chest?   I want to rise and face the world with Openness and honesty I want to go and find a girl with Openness and honesty I want to tell you how I feel with Openness and honesty I want to try and keep it real with Openness and Honesty

about

The long overdue debut album!

credits

released August 10, 2013

On this record the Seven Inches were:

Emil Andrews (trumpet)
Emily Clavering-Lee (vocals, keyboards)
Ian Cockburn (vocals)
Shaun Day (guitar)
Tim Ireland (bass)
Rachael Moore (drums)

All songs written by the Seven Inches

Recorded at the Soundmill in Leeds with Edward Heaton except tracks 3,5 and 6 with Simon McGrath

Special thanks to other band members past and present: Nigel Townshend, Lucy Canter, Emily Graves, Bryn Hans and Owen Radford-Lloyd, and especially founder member Alice Hubley.

Thanks to Sturdy, Ed, Si and all our friends, families and well-wishers.

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The Seven Inches Leeds, UK

The Seven Inches have long been heroes amongst Leeds’ indiepop and DIY scenes, winning hearts everywhere with their bizarre onstage props, trumpets, synths and cardboard keytars. If this makes them sound like some self-conscious novelty act, rest assured that nothing could be further from the truth – The Seven Inches play it from the heart every time. ... more

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