1. |
Elodie
04:21
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I was so lonely, I needed someone close
Like Elodie, like Elodie
Someone so lovely, as warm as toast
Like Elodie, like Elodie
We were on the greyhound, heading for Alberta
When I saw her across the aisle I wished I was a flirter
I’m from England, she was from France
Oh Elodie, oh Elodie
We sat in silence, I was entranced
With Elodie, with Elodie
The rockies were amazing, the sun shone on the snow
The pines were green the lakes were blue her eyes were so aglow
We started talking but didn’t say “je t’aime”
Oh Elodie, oh Elodie
I hit Vancouver at five A.M.
With Elodie, with Elodie
Max the boy from Quebec was our friend and our translator
We all went around Stanley Park and saw an alligator
I saw the gallery, I saw the steam clock
With Elodie, with Elodie
I saw the gardens and all the Chinese shops
With Elodie, with Elodie
I finally told her how I felt, in French just like I planned it
Her reply sounded so beautiful but I couldn’t understand it
She had a boyfriend, so she was out of reach
Oh Elodie, oh Elodie
I sat and night-time round a bonfire on the beach
With Elodie, with Elodie
We snuggled in a tent for warmth I wanted just to hold her
She seemed more huggable and warm the more the night got colder
When we parted, she gave me a diary
Oh Elodie, oh Elodie
We got drunk on ale and daiquaris
Oh Elodie, oh Elodie
I wondered if I‘d ever see her in some other city
If the spell would still be there or if she’d still be as pretty
Her eyes were soulful, her smile was like a beam
Oh Elodie, oh Elodie
The whole week was like a fever dream
Oh Elodie, oh Elodie
Next time I saw her was in Paris
Oh Elodie, oh Elodie
She was single, I was embarrassed
Oh Elodie, oh Elodie
I wonder what depths I’d find if I could know her better
But French still gives me headaches even writing just one letter
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2. |
I'm Such A Klutz
02:46
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I've got every advantage in upbringing and health
Sometimes I even envy myself
But I'm still somehow two cards short of a deck
Everything I touch ends up lost or wrecked
But maybe you're new hope for me
An upturn in the slope for me
A rose-tinted telescope for me
Totally full of rock n roll like Newcastle is full of coal
Maybe you're my hideaway
Maybe national cider day
Maybe Cole Porter's “Night and Day”
Well you can see that I'm a nut who's totally devoted- but
I'm such a klutz- I always screw up
I'm such a klutz- I run amuck
I'm such a klutz- everyone duck
I really hope you're looking for the clumsiest schmuck
Maybe you're my roaring stove
Maybe you're my olive grove
Maybe my rugged rocky cove
In my heart of heart of hearts, the beating's gone right off the chart
Maybe it's no accident
Our match rating's at maximum
Except that you like saxophones
But before we start rejoicing there's one doubt I must be voicing: That:
I'm such a klutz- I always screw up
I'm such a klutz- I run amuck
I'm such a klutz- everyone duck
I really hope you're looking for the clumsiest schmuck
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3. |
Blessing In Disguise
03:24
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Oh, oh, what's the matter
Oh, oh, what's the matter
Everything breaks
Everything breaks
like my tape recorder
like my tape recorder
I've lost the means
To make demo tapes
But here comes Mr know-it-all
Saying to be stoical
Smell roses more
“Maybe it's
A blessing that's in disguise
Listen to the testament of the wise
It's good you can't record your stuff yet
You know it doesn't sound good enough yet
Maybe it's
A blessing that's in disguise
Benediction in affliction's guise
When you get to record your nuggets
They'll be more likely to cut it”
But everything's breaking
Yes everything's breaking
My freezer door
Just will not close
And all that was in it
In store for my dinner
Has come unfroze
Has come unfroze
My stereo has croaked
My boiler's up in smoke
My vacuum choked
“Maybe it's
A blessing that's in disguise
You'll eat more fresh food and fewer pies
Instead of messing 'round on the internet
You could read Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Maybe it's
A blessing that's in disguise
Cut off from your musical supplies
You'll be forced to learn accordion
Gain the band a whole new audience”
I hear it, the motion you propose
Silver linings in my tattered clothes
But there's one misfortune I suppose is
Unquellable by smelling roses
The girl I love more than the sea
Has decided not to be with me
She's left me in abject misery
Oh woe is me
“Maybe it's-”
STOP!
Don't tell me
It's a blessing disguised as a curse
'Cause you know sometimes the more things go bad
The more they actually get worse!
Maybe it's
A curse disguised as a blessing
Disguised as a curse
Double bluffing
Maybe the silver lining is just tin
The famous roses are paper and thin
Maybe it's
A wolf dressed in wolf's clothes
An ill wild just blowing its nose
Every cloud has a silver razorblade
Life gives me lemons but no aid
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4. |
Music For Travel Agents
02:54
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Oh how I long to sail away now
How I long to sail away
To a beautiful beach
Far out of reach
Of vagabonds and vandals
A drink in my hand
and the silvery sand
Sliding through my sandals
Oh how I long to sail away now
How I long to sail away
To a sunrise somewhere
My face in your hair
Smelling your sun lotion
To jump into seas
That don’t make me freeze
The warmest in the ocean
Everyone knows that the sun never sets
On dreamers and lovers with travellers' cheques
So come my dearest darling and sail away with me
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5. |
Everything's Sex
01:18
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Everything's Sex
You say
I'm so repressed
That "apart from drugs and cigarettes
There's really nothing more to life than sex!
every book mankind's churned out,
It's what every sentence is really about"
But if that's the way
That you feel
Then I say
How come you're so surprised
When you get so depressed?
Is it any wonder you're depressed?
If everything has a subtext
On the subject by which we're all possessed
'cause there's really nothing more to life than sex!
The bombing of
Third world nations
Is all about sexual frustration
And when lives get wrecked?
Well, that's just a side-effect
Then how come you're so surprised
When you get so depressed?
Is it any wonder you're depressed?
If the bed is not for rest
And apart the birth
That comes from it and death
There's really nothing more to life than sex!
If shagging is
Our only mission,
And love is
Just a euphemism,
And political action
Is just a dull distraction,
How come you're so surprised
When you get so depressed?
Is it any wonder you're depressed?
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6. |
Here Comes The Storm
05:07
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Sunny days are over
Sunny days are over
It was so warm
It was so warm
My left knee is shaking
That big cloud is breaking
Now there's a storm
Now there's a storm
Winter has come
Clouds burst like bombs
We're pelted with such rain
Waking up to real pain
One love has failed
Lost in the gale
One day I'll get to start again
I should have foreseen this attack
Should have brought an anorak
My soaking vest
Clings to my chest
Now I'm hanging on the mast
Ship is flying in the blast
How i capsize
Spray in my eyes
Feeling so ill
Beaten ten-nil
But i'd hate to always win
Then i'd never feel a thing
Joy cannot be
Without misery
I can't let myself give in
Maybe there's a reason
Happiness has seasons
Like weathervanes
Waxes and wanes
The romance that just turned sour
Had the lifespan of a flower
Came in the Spring
Gone with the wind
It's all a storm
It won't last long
Though it thunders with such force
I must try to keep my course
Don't let me sink
Don't let me think
Of never getting out of this
Here comes the storm
Here comes the storm
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7. |
Best Job In The World
03:17
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There's not a moment to waste
There's not a moment to lose
Let's get going baby
It's a white-knuckle chase
Not a luxury cruise
Can't be slowing baby
Everyone wants you to flop
Because they want your job
The best job in the world today
The best job in the world today
Guess it must be the best to be worth this stress
The best job in the world today
The best job in the world today
Guess it must be the peak judging by your shriek
There's not a moment to waste
There's not a moment to lose
We gotta make time baby
If we're not making haste
I'll be blowing a fuse
No more break time baby
Your pension depends upon you
And mine does too
The best job in the world today
The best job in the world today
Guess it must be the best to be worth this stress
The best job in the world today
The best job in the world today
Guess it must be the peak judging by your shriek
You know you gotta hang on tight
You know you gotta do it right
You know you gotta hang in tough
You know you gotta do your stuff
There's not a moment to waste
There's not a moment to lose
Get a move on dear
If we slacken our pace
We'll be yesterday's news
With a souvenir
Of
The best job in the world today
The best job in the world today
Guess it must be the best to be worth this stress
The best job in the world today
The best job in the world today
Guess it must be the peak judging by your shriek
The best job in the world today
The best job in the world today
Guess this must be the summit, am I ready to plummet?
The best job in the world today
The best job in the world today
That's it, I quit!
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8. |
Happiness
04:00
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I live in peacetime, I've money enough
The shop I work in sells really nice stuff
I love cooking while listening to songs
Nobody hurts me, nothing goes wrong
I love to eat and walk and think and drink and breathe and talk
I love to dance and sing and paint and draw and everything
When I'm lonely, my friends cheer me up
they make me happy, run over my cup
The only sadness that seems to stay
Is I can't take their sadness away
Oh I could try but I confess
I don't know how to do it best
oh no, oh yes
I want to spread my happiness
oh no, oh yes
I want to spread my happiness
the friends I live with are the best I've ever had
it's not fair that I'm happy when they're sad
I know the records that take my cares away
would just annoy you 'cos I play them every day
Oh how I'd jump and scream and shout
if that could help to share it out, but
oh no, oh yes
I want to spread my happiness
oh no, oh yes
I want to spread my happiness
I don't know what to make you for your tea
I'm still in search for the perfect recipe
I feel so happy, I feel so blessed
But I can't share my happiness
I wish that I could make you feel
The way you always make me feel, but
oh no, oh yes
I want to spread my happiness
oh no, oh yes
I want to spread my happiness
oh no, oh yes
I want to spread my happiness
oh no, oh yes
I want to spread my happiness
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9. |
Stop Pestering Me
02:53
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She:
Hello Mister
I don't love you
I like you though
But stop pestering me
Stop pestering me
'Cause that's as far it goes
You may say I'm being harsh
But it's harsh to be fair
It's fair to tell you now
You'll get nowhere
If you can't be satisfied as my best friend
Then you'd better get prepared for the end.
Hey now mister
I don't love you
As I told you before
So stop pestering me
Stop pestering me
Or I won't like you no more
You may say I'm being cruel
But it's cruel to be kind
It's fair to tell you now
I won't change my mind
If you can't be satisfied as a confidant
You'd better be prepared for not getting what you want
He:
How could i leave it at that
When my love is true and strong
And when I fall in love
It only happens once
Would Lochinvar or Don Quixote
Give up so easily?
I have to strive forever
To win your love with poetry
She:
Hey now Mister
I don't want you
To take this the wrong way
But stop pestering me
Stop pestering me
I wish you'd go away
You're starting to obliterate our easy rapport
You're making me uncomfortable and being a bore
It's almost like talking to a big brick wall
Perhaps I'd say it better by saying nothing at all to you
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10. |
Bad Genes
03:51
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Doc! Give me bad genes
I could have been infertile or blind
Hard of hearing with an unstable mind
I could have had a withered arm and a limp
I could have had the social nous of a chimp
But I'm almost perfect
Not to mention being straight and Caucasian
The geneticists made sure of that
Though my grandpa was a homo and Asian
Doc! Give me bad genes
I could have been asthmatic, autistic
A sulk, a stammerer or someone sadistic
And though I'm glad that these things don't all afflict me
One or two of them wouldn't have killed me
But I'm almost perfect
i really find it hard to relate
To ordinary mortals
Who hurt and ache and tremble and hate
Half my genes were just ones my parents chose
From a catalogue of spare embryos
And now I'm smart and strong and healthy and tall
In fact I'm not much like my parents at all
In fact I'm almost perfect
Isn't technology ace?
Unfortunately I can't stand
Being part of the new master race
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11. |
I Just Heard The News
02:36
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I just heard the news
You finally got together
You are such a perfect match
You've both caught the perfect catch
Wish you happiness forever
Now the rumours are confirmed
I can't wait to take a picture
Of you kissing in the corner
At a party in the summer
Now that you're a fixture
And we are so happy for you
We are so happy for you
We are so happy for you
We are so happy for you
I just heard the news
You're no longer together
Oh, accept my sympathy
Guess it wasn't meant to be
Guess it couldn't last for ever
But I know you're strong
You'll soon be back and thriving
To be perfectly honest
I didn't think it had promise
I couldn't see your love surviving
And the same applies to us
Your breakup was strongly mooted
It was hard to comprehend
That you two were even friends
We didn't think you were well suited
And we knew he wasn't for you
We knew he wasn't for you
We knew he wasn't for you (oh what a moron)
We knew he wasn't for you
Let me commiserate
But your ex had some annoying traits
Let me corroborate
All the things you found to hate
I thought from your first date
What a clueless reprobate
Your new love, just you wait
Will be your love so great
I just heard the news
You got back together
Oh we always knew you would
You were on to something good
Wish you happiness for ever
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12. |
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Once we're out of the way
Once we're out of the way
Earth ought to be OK
Ecosystems remade
If not there's all those other planets anyway
So why so distressed
About annihilation?
Earth probably needs a rest
It's been oh so patient
Once we're out of the way
For such will happen come what may
Earth will keep spinning on.
Till entropy means its day is done
So why your dismay?
Recall tyrannosaurus
He, too, once held sway
Now we're dinosaurless
The universe is so wide
And we're not the stars of the show
We've had our fun, well, some of us did
But one day we'll have to go
I know we're hard-wired to try
To survive, thrive, procreate
And forge a decent world for our descendants
But we're not doing great
Once we're out of the way
Let the hummingbird play
Let the ape have its day
Are we so important anyway?
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13. |
A New Friend
03:07
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I still get excited
When quite uninvited
A new friend falls in my world
If I had more horse sense
I wouldn't want more friends
But I still like to be twirled
By a like-minded person new to me who takes the opportunity to say “well met”
Make one friend and then befriend all of her friends until you've got the entire court card set
Some collect rare stamps
Or novelty hairclamps
But I collect people to know
Keeping my old friends
While seeking untold friends
And trying not to make any foes
Yes and this new friend may lead to more new friends and then perhaps at last a paramour
'Cause friendships are great for their own sake but better yet If they lead to romance once more
As I've intimated
I still feel elated
When a new friend plays a new part
Not just anyone, mind
Not anyone unkind
But you and I clicked from the start
(Spare verse:
Some collect Dandys
Or ore from the Andes
Or players for their sticker-book team
The players that I hoard
Are people who high-scored
In clicking with me like a dream)
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The Seven Inches Leeds, UK
The Seven Inches have long been heroes amongst Leeds’ indiepop and DIY scenes, winning hearts everywhere with their bizarre onstage props, trumpets, synths and cardboard keytars. If this makes them sound like some self-conscious novelty act, rest assured that nothing could be further from the truth – The Seven Inches play it from the heart every time. ... more
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