1. |
...And They're Off!
01:12
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There's a hush around the stadium now as the runners are on their marks for the start of the 440 yards. The starter raises his pistol... and they're off! And Day has made a fine start in lane number 3. He's closing up on Moore in the lane outside him, the bearded Yorkshireman, who's now getting into his running, and fighting back. Also running well is Clavering, the tall medical student, and it's Clavering who possibly has the edge over the rest of the field as they run full pelt down the back straight. The athletes straining for an advantage now with every sinew of their being. And... and Andrews has pulled out! Andrews in lane #6 has pulled out, that's bad luck. And the runners are now coming round the bend. And it's Cockburn now, Cockburn who has taken the lead. And Cockburn running strongly as they enter the home straight. It's Cockburn, from Day, and Clavering... and Ireland on the inside! A dramatic late run from Ireland. Ireland coming through with an indubitable burst of speed! And at the tape.... it's Ireland who wins it! Oh! What a marvellous display of athleticism from the young man from Hull.
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2. |
Cashback
02:56
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Despite galumphing around like you've gone beserk
You still end up about five minutes late for work
With half the things on your itinerary unfulfilled
You run out the house and you trip over all the bills
Successful people look down and sneer at you
Just coz they have a brilliant career or two
Mostly you have nowt but contempt for them
They might be rich but that don't make them gentlemen
Twenty telegrams from your Aunt Dahlia
Insinuating you are a failure
And your parents, they pinned all their hopes on you
As if you failing would make them failures too
You try and try till at last! You still don't succeed
You work your hands, and your fingers until they bleed
You gave years of your life to the company
Who left you screaming “what do you want from me?”
But there's no reason to beat yourself up
No there's no reason at all
But there's no reason to beat yourself up
No there's no reason at all
You keep dreaming that you're losing the race so bad
The sandman just kicks sand in your face- the cad!
Your skills are there but in an obsolete format
Your greatest use seems to be as a doormat
And now you're thinking about recrimination
And you should fight all your life against discrimination
But when it comes to self-flagellation now
Why don't you give your self-hate a vacation now?
And there's no reason to beat yourself up
No there's no reason at all
And there's no reason to beat yourself up
No there's no reason at all
It just ain't worth it, honey
You don't deserve it, honey
It just ain't worth it, honey
Nobody's perfect, honey
Bababababababababa
Bababababababababa
Bababababababababa
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3. |
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I wanna be the second coolest person in town after you
I wanna be the second coolest person in town after you
Well, you're definitely the smartest
the supreme-est, avant-garde-est
And the make-me-laugh-the-hardest
Top-notch modern artist
you're my favourite radio station
for new musical inspiration
and your own sundry creations
are such cause for celebration
I wanna be the second coolest person in town after you
I wanna be the second coolest person in town after you
Well your smorgasbords are scrumptious
But you're never too self-conscious
Confident but modest
You're great but not a Goddess
And your clothes make it so clear
You're the one with the ideas
and your words couldn't be freer
They're sharper than a spear
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be....
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4. |
The Little Things
04:31
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What’s the point in writing a book
That'll never be as good as the greats?
What’s the point in a sculpture then
That’ll never end up in the Tate?
What’s the point in a single
That doesn’t smash the charts?
What’s the point in a ballad
That doesn’t break anyone’s heart?
What’s the point in hanging around
Without taking part?
What’s the point in living a life
That isn’t higher art?
Oh I could tell you what the point is
But I wouldn’t know where to start
It’s the little things, yeah
The little things we share
The little things make it all worthwhile
All the different strokes and styles
That make variety
That maybe you can’t see
If you expect everything to be
Competing for immortality
It’s the little things, y’know
Things that make you glow
Things like a common memory shared
Things you’d see if you really cared
To look for
Those little things
What’s the point in a movement
That doesn’t win elections?
What’s the point in a protest song
That doesn’t change perceptions?
What’s the point in a movie
That’s apolitical?
What’s the point in an illustration
That’s really literal?
What’s the point in going out with someone
If you don’t get the perfect kiss?
Whats the point in going out at all
If you don't get completely pissed?
Well I’ll tell you what the point is
And why I’m singing this:
It’s the little things, I mean
The little inbetweens
Unexpected twists, exquisite wrists
The kinds of things you’d probably miss
If you expect your life to be
A constant jamboree
Of revolution, revelation,
Romanticism and creation
The little things, y’know
Things that make you glow
A favourite taste, a favourite smell
A favourite sound, well, who can tell
Where you’ll find
The little things
Well I could tell you why we’re here
If you give me half a year
It's the little things, I said
The little greens and reds
Eyelashes and fingertips
Water, grapes and chilli dips
Saxophone and harps
Quavers, flats and sharps
Jumps and screams and surreal dreams
Neon lights and mountain streams
The little things, y’know
Things that make you glow
So don’t feel down if regret still rings
When all you’ve ever done is little things
For the world is changed
By little things
The world is changed
By little things
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5. |
Our Gang Of Friends
03:31
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Our gang of friends has been meeting for years
Unravelling over several beers
Our gang of friends, yeah we hope to outlast
Our memories of being lonely outcasts
Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends
Gets together every weekend
Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends
Telling jokes only we understand
Our gang of friends is like some kinda club
‘Cause we’ve the power to freeze out and snub
Our gang of friends is hilariously funny
That’s what make the alcohol worth the money
Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends
Gets together every weekend
Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends
Telling jokes only we understand
Our gang of friends we sure have lots of fun
But if we never got to talk one to one
Our gang of friends would be pretty much strangers
As if to know what’s inside would be dangerous
Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends
Well it shouldn’t be like some sort of ritual
Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends
But I like them best as individuals
To talk to the same old friends is feeble
Your prejudices get reinforced
You only learn of life through talking to people
Pooling experience ‘cause life is short
I have a fear of cliquey cliques
So it's time from the nest I flew
For there's so many other people to meet,
Like you! You! Maybe you?
Do I think I'm suddenly better than them?
Of course not! I just see things different
I’ll always be friends with them, I know I will
But i get certain longings that they can’t always fill-
For example there’s someone over there I wish I dated…
I wonder, can their clique be infiltrated?
But all I get are snatches of chatter
I want friendships that really matter
Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends
Gets together every weekend
Our gang of friends, Our gang of friends
Telling jokes only we understand
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6. |
A Letter
03:29
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Hello Mary S
Is this the right address?
Thought I'd tell you of some things
That have occupied me this Spring
Life is fast and bright
Stay up late most nights
I got sick of being lazy
Now i want to move like crazy
I’m caught up in a social life that’s hard to sustain
While determined to read a lot and work on my brain
And do some hard work
On my artwork
I’m gonna have a website publicising my stuff
Though i’m scared of taking on more than i can carry off
If i don’t have a go
I will never know
That last email that you sent
Was so typically excellent
I love hearing your adventures
All the details that you mention
The same basic story
Cut down short might bore me
But elongated with digressions
Makes a far greater impression
And then you’ll tell me something that i feel to a “T”
And the fact we’re kindred spirits makes me feel so happy
I understand you
Least I think so
If it weren’t for letters i would feel so alone
There are things hard to communicate just over the phone
And you can re-read them
When you need them
I’m on the full cafetiere
I’ve been warned not to go there
But the coffee madness
Doesn’t seem too bad yet
I love feeling i can be
Who i want, the energy
Though exhaustion’s never far
Makes me see things as they are
They really are
Really hard
Heres a letter then
To a dear friend
Just like that song by Kristen Hersh
It’s written in musical verse
Hope you keep good health
Take good care of yourself.
Love,
Ian
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7. |
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TURN AROUND open your eyes
TURN AROUND open your eyes
TURN AROUND open your eyes
TURN AROUND open your eyes
GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated
SO SO SO SO SO SO SO you’ll be creative
GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated
GO GO GO GO GO GO GO don’t be so jaded
Lose your preconceptions
And pre-packaged views
Try a new direction
In someone else's shoes
SEE THE WORLD be introduced to
WAYS OF LIFE you’re not used to
SEE FILMS maybe travel
Let your prejudice unravel
GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated
SO SO SO SO SO SO SO you’ll be creative
GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated
GO GO GO GO GO GO GO don’t be so jaded
Stir your blood until its fizzy
Change your mind until it’s dizzy
Read of things you never heard of
Language you don’t speak a word of
Don’t need drugs just library books
Recipes you’ve never cooked
Fill your thoughts and fall unconscious
The sleep of reason produces monsters1
GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated
SO SO SO SO SO SO SO you’ll be creative
GET GET GET GET GET GET GET disorientated
GO GO GO GO GO GO GO don’t be so jaded
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8. |
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“Our first duty is striking a pose
What the second is nobody knows”1
Live life like you’re living in shows
With marvellous clothes
But all of this vanity fair
And pretension can never compare
With kindness and courage and care
Precious and rare
Oh! Oh! Admonished, I must now admit
My questing for Wildean wit
Has led me to look like a twit
Just a bit
Yes Yes I readily, freely confess
I try much too hard to impress
With quasi-bohemian excess
And fancy dress
I sigh at each biography
Of people much better than me
Which one am i trying to be?
unsuccessfully
I pointlessly act a great ponce
As if to provoke a response
Can this be what every girl wants?
Vive la France!
No! No! To swallow my pride and be frank
I have a damn sight too much swank
My life’s an elaborate wank
with no-one to thank
But me! Maybe if I could sometimes be bothered
To care a bit more about others
I might just get a few lovers
And I might discover
Cravats and spats and feather boas
Are well-worn now, old hat, a bore!
Stop! Stop! Being a fop
Stop! Stop! Being a fop
You’re not Rimbaud, you’re not Baudelaire
You’re not Lord Byron with stupider hair
Stop! Stop! Being a fop
Stop! Stop! Being a fop
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9. |
The Rowing Song
00:57
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Let's row
Let's row
Let's row
Row, row, move the fucking oars now
Go!
Let's row
Let's row
Row, row, move the fucking oars now
Let's row
Let's row
Let's row
Row, row, move the fucking oars now
Go (there's no need to be so frantic)
Let's row (It's only a boating lake)
Let's row (I thought it would be romantic)
Row, (row ashore now, what a lousy date)
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10. |
Hanna-Barbera
03:45
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I love Hanna-Barbera
I love Hanna-Barbera
I wanna go to Scarborough
Watch some Hanna-Barbera
'South Park' is Macabre-er
But I love Hanna Barbera
I will always harbour a
Love for Hanna-Barbera
(I'll get you Penelop Pitstop, [evil laugh])
Tom and Jerry just weren’t funny
Not like Daffy or Bugs Bunny
The characters weren’t sympathetic
And the violence was pathetic
Joe Barbara, Bill Hanna
Started out in this grand manner
Till the big old business died
That’s when they really hit their stride
They brought cartoons to TV!
The TV bosses just said “Gee!
“Cartoons are gonna be too steep”
But they found ways to make them cheap
Galloping legs keep a-blurring
The same images kept recurring
The painted backdrops stayed dead still
Call it tacky if you will
But they had gumption, they had guile
Sight-gags and bags of style
Their characters so cute and daft
I don’t care about the craft
Or if the crew was understaffed
Purists say their corporation
Was the death of animation
But that’s not fair,
Yogi Bear,
Penelope Pitstop, Top Cat yeah
People say when Joe and Bill
Left MGM they went downhill
But that’s not true,
Scooby doo,
Captain Caveman, Hong Kong Phooey
Magilla Gorilla
Dastardly and Muttley
The Harlem Globetrotters
Quick-Draw McGraw
Huckleberry Hound
The Jetsons
Wacky Races
Their imaginations were so tricksy
Like Mr Jinx and Pixie and Dixie
In every trick they turned up aces
Secret squirrel, wacky races
They had chic they had elan
Bizarre contraptions, evil plans
They had piles of quick one-liners
Dinosaurs and stone age diners
They had wit, sophistication
Playing with their limitations
Je ne sais quoi, esprit de corps
Sylvester Sneekley, Hooded Claw
Maybe it was all a front
for Undercover Elephant
All the creatures great and small
Hokey Wolf, Benny-the-Ball
Boo-Boo, Snagglepuss and all
People say their values pander
To reactionary propaganda
That’s the trouble
With Barney Rubble
And fascist pigs like Officer Dibble
People say it’s
Bubblegum
Some people really are no fun
They moan and bitch
And call it kitsch
Shaggy won’t outrun that witch
Secret Squirrel
Josie and the Pussycats
the Arkansas Chugabug
Touché Turtle
Augie Doggy and Doggy Daddy
Ruff and Reddy
Top Cat
People call them philistines
Poisoning our children’s minds
But it’s not so
Bill and Joe
Were smarter than the average duo
Were they only out to fleece us?
Will Jinksie ever catch those meeces?
I would pay Anyday
To have a gay old time
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11. |
To Boldly Go
02:56
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Obstacles
Fill your path
Tentacles
fill your bath
it's so hard
not to tear your hair
and scream
You've just got to stop
Your heart pounding
you've just got to move
them darn mountains
it's so hard
to excel
or do well
but there's a hope so what the hell!
You can chain me in irons
and throw me to the lions
I know my nerves'll settle
they can't eat me wrapped in metal
You've just got to duck
the torpedoes
never give a fuck
about mosquitoes
don't be scared
be prepared
be aware
faint heart never won fair share
My turn! My turn! I'm not frightened
I'm gonna deal with the world on my terms
My turn! My turn! I'm not frightened
Faced with a fight I will not whiten
My turn! My turn! I'm not frightened
I'll take on all the mods in Brighton
My turn! My turn! I'm not frightened
My only drug will be excitement
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12. |
Openness and Honesty
03:26
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Here's my favourite comic
Ariel Schrag’s Potential
Fearless real and honest
Honesty’s essential
Don't lie to your friends
Don't try stratagems
Don't put on an act
Just stick to the fact
It's useless to hide
your fragile side
And don't let your chances slide
So tell me what I ought to say
In your stupid play
‘Cause it feels like a play we’re in
Do I get to see the script?
Do I have to strip?
Am I the villain or the heroine?
And tell me how you picked the cast
Were auditions passed?
Are there others who can act better?
And will you give me your address
If I don’t impress
Because I know I’m good at writing letters
They say that being open
Can leave your heart exposed
But how is your heart coping
All shut up and enclosed
They say to be calm
They say “show restraint
If you are upset
Pretend that you ain’t
Just don’t lose your calm
Just don’t lose your cool”
Well I follow other rules
So tell me how to play this game
Does it have a name
Other than fooling about?
It feels like advanced charades
Only twice as hard
And I really can’t figure it out
And tell me when I get confused
Do I win or lose
When my feelings go unexpressed?
And will you let me see your cards?
Are they clubs or hearts?
Or are they too close to your chest?
I want to rise and face the world with
Openness and honesty
I want to go and find a girl with
Openness and honesty
I want to tell you how I feel with
Openness and honesty
I want to try and keep it real with
Openness and Honesty
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The Seven Inches Leeds, UK
The Seven Inches have long been heroes amongst Leeds’ indiepop and DIY scenes, winning hearts everywhere with their bizarre onstage props, trumpets, synths and cardboard keytars. If this makes them sound like some self-conscious novelty act, rest assured that nothing could be further from the truth – The Seven Inches play it from the heart every time. ... more
The Seven Inches recommends:
Cue A Year Of You're A Face
by You're A Face
The other face of Rachael from the Seven Inches. I want to be your owl.
go to album
By Hook or by Crook
by Various artists
Features a track by the Seven Inches plus lots of other great Sturdy records artistes.
go to album
The Wayward Buskers
by Ian Cockburn and the Whole World
Ian from the Seven Inches's sings some otherwise unused songs in a variety of different styles with a variety of different guest artists. Varied.
go to albumIf you like The Seven Inches, you may also like:
supported by 4 fans who also own “The Seven Inches Get Disorientated”
"…I first stumbled into Emma Kupa via Mammoth Penguins and with a solo album in the works, this 6-track EP is a good a place as any to start... wry, semi-autobiographical and heartfelt melancholic lyrics pair perfectly alongside gentle indie-folk hued feet-tapping melodies and Emma's home-spun vocals.... throw in added banjo and what's not to like? Not so much a record as a chat with a long-lost friend holed up in a cosy snug…" https://reclaimingthecolonies-onestateatatime.blogspot.com
go to album
Indietracks Compilation 2013
by Various Artists
supported by 4 fans who also own “The Seven Inches Get Disorientated”
Awesome compilation featuring the never less than stellar Helen Love!
go to album
A Strange Dream
by Smokescreens
L.A.'s Smokescreens recall the moment when post-punk transformed into indie pop on their David Kilgour-produced full-length.
go to album
